Easy at the top? by Ranger Nick Hindson
To eat or not to eat, something that Shakespeare never said. Now it’s fairly straight forward, if you are hungry you eat, and if not, then you don’t. Though something happened recently that made me question this ‘pearl of wisdom’.
Not long to ago, my guests and I, were privileged to witness our two lionesses kill a male wildebeest. We saw pretty much the whole thing, the stalk, the chase, heard the take down, and then saw the suffocation. Awesome. Then.
The lioness that killed the wildebeest then got up and left…….It’s like driving to the KFC, waiting in the queue, placing your order and then walking out. You go to all this effort then get bored.
So there went 50 percent of the lion viewing for the morning. Anyway, a short while later, one of my guests asked where the male was, and I remember saying that he was more than likely somewhere else, and probably sleeping, and also probably waiting for the ladies to bring him the food.
“What an awesome life that is” he said……..wait, rewind….what. I would not want to be a male lion, even if you paid me a million rand (and if I was a male lion, what the hell would I do with a million bucks. I can’t exactly put a deposit down on a new den or anything, and can you imagine, all my lionesses would spend it on getting their nails done, or getting a new set of furs. Madness).
Now contrary to popular belief, lions do NOT have easy lives. For the first 2 or 3 years, everything goes well. They are part of the pride, mom or moms bring home the food, and dad fights with the neighbours, sorted. Then. You are forced to leave the pride, and this isn’t peaceful. There’s much anger. I guess it’s like crashing your dads vintage motorcycle and then trying to blame it on the cat….you’re going to get a beating.
So you are alone, or if you’re lucky you have a brother with you, and then spend the next few years trying to avoid getting beaten up by the neighbours that your dad fought with until you are older enough to fight for your own pride.
Now assuming you win the first fight, you then get the privilege of fighting with the next set of neighbours for about four years, before you are finally overthrown. And once this has happened, you not going to be around for much longer, a year or two if you’re lucky.
So no, I do not want to be a lion. And getting back to the wildebeest, you have to chase your food, which has a good chance of getting away, why do you want to do this, no.
I would prefer to be a herbivore, all you have to do is eat grass or leaves, both of which can’t get away from you. So for all those of you who want to a lion because it’s an easy life, be a herbivore, it’s even easier.
Easy at the bottom.